Josh Gordon Looks Pret-tay, Pret-tay, Pret-tay Good

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

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No pun intended, but holy smokes. Is this actually medically possible? To smoke as much weed as Josh Gordon has all his life and still end up being this much of a physical specimen? Even if you’ve been off the stuff, which I assume Gordon is since he probably gets tested more than a Thoracic Surgeon and an Air Traffic Controller combined.

Not that he was ever out of shape, mind you. Or anything approaching it. This was a photo that went viral in March of last year:

Then he was as ripped as T’Challa (Note: Am I safe to pay that compliment without having to make a Bill Simmons apology later on?); 16 months later he looks like Hulk.

Josh Gordon is the best argument for legalized marijuana I’ve ever heard seen. And any group trying to make it legal in their state needs to put photos of Flash in all their ads. Seriously, if I thought I could smoke as much bud (as the youngsters call it these days) as him and look 1/10th as good, I’d move to Colorado and get an apartment over a dispensary. But tragically, I’m not a fan of the kush. I prefer my bounties of Mother Nature boiled down, brewed and distilled. Which is why I’m struggling with dad bod and after a couple of dozen suspensions for positive cannabis tests, he looks like an ancient Greek sculptor carved him out of a block of marble. One of those guys who makes you look in the mirror and wonder if you’re in the game Genus as him.

Also, extra points to Gordon for the Dylan Thomas reference. Very nice. Sweet Jesus, if the NFL ever lays off this guy and he puts it together, he could be unstoppable.

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